in

Billionaire space race, Jeff Bezos, MSNBC, The Beat with Ari Melber, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Richard Branson Idiots Charged For Roles In Jan. 6th Insurrection – Seditionist Round-Up Roundup

quot, I’M, YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT., CHEERS AND APPLAUSE. Thank YOU FOR THE APPLAUSE. IT’S, SO NICE TO HEAR THAT, AFTER NOT HAVING AN AUDIENCE FOR SO LONG. 23 HOURS, I HAVEN’T HAD AN AUDIENCE.. I CAN’T BELIEVE I MADE IT.. I DON’T DO THE SHOW FOR THE APPLAUSE I DO IT FOR THE TROPHIES AND THIS MORNING, quotTHE LATE SHOWquot WAS NOMINATED FOR EIGHT EMMY AWARDS, PIANO RIFF COME ON …, CONGRATULATIONS, CHEERS AND APPLAUSE. Thank YOU.. Of COURSE. This SHOW WOULDN’T BE POSSIBLE WITHOUT YOU, THE VIEWERS.. So I PROMISE, IF WE WIN AN EMMY, WE WILL, LET ALL OF YOU VIEW IT. LAUGHTER VOTING FOR SHOW BUSINESS AWARDS MAY SOON BE THE LAST BIT OF DEMOCRACY. We HAVE LEFT BECAUSE, SINCE THE NOVEMBER ELECTION STATE LAWMAKERS HAVE ENACTED 28 LAWS IN 17 STATES THAT RESTRICT BALLOT, ACCESS., IT’S GOTTEN SO BAD THAT IN AUDIENCE REACTS gtgt, Stephen YES., IT’S GOTTEN SO BAD THAT IN GEORGIA, IF YOU WAN NA VOTE, YOU HAVE TO GUESS THE Name OF THE TROLL UNDER THE BRIDGE. HINT IT’S, MARJORIE, TAYLOR, GREENE., LAUGHTER, CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HOLD FOR APPLAUSE.. All OF THESE RESTRICTIVE VOTING LAWS ARE BEING JUSTIFIED BY THE FIG LEAF OF THE BIG LIE. AND WE’RE LEARNING MORE ABOUT THE ORIGINS OF THE BIG LIE.. According TO ONE NEW BOOK AT THE WHITE HOUSE, ELECTION NIGHT PARTY, SOME PEOPLE THOUGHT RUDY GIULIANI MAY HAVE BEEN DRINKING TOO MUCH. LAUGHTER. The OTHER PEOPLE WERE RUDY GIULIANI. LAUGHTER, REPORTEDLY DRUNK RUDY ASKED WHAT’S HAPPENING IN MICHIGAN.

They SAID IT WAS TOO EARLY TO TELL.. Just SAY WE WON GIULIANI, TOLD THEM. SAME THING IN PENNSYLVANIA. JUST SAY WE WON PENNSYLVANIA. GOD. Rudy MUST HAVE BEEN AN ANNOYING KID. YOU’RE PLAYING TAG AND YOU GET HIM ON THE SHOULDER. But INSTEAD OF ADMITTING IT, HE SAYS: NUH UH, AT A PRESS CONFERENCE NEXT TO A DILDO, STORE. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE. Next TO., NOT IN FRONT OF NEXT TO. CAMPAIGN OFFICIALS SHOT THE IDEA DOWN, BUT AFTER FOX NEWS CALLED ARIZONA FOR BIDEN, GIULIANI ADVISED THE FORMER PRESIDENT JUST GO. Declare VICTORY RIGHT: NOW. YOU’VE GOT TO GO, DECLARE VICTORY, NOW., IT’S, AN AGE OLD STRATEGY. AFTER A DEVASTATING LOSS. Just SAY YOU WON. REMINDS OF THIS CLIMACTIC SCENE. gtgt I’M, THE WINNER CHEERS AND APPLAUSE gtgt Stephen SURE. REDEMPTION FOR VADER.. Of COURSE, THE BIG ELECTION LIE LED DIRECTLY TO THE JANUARY 6TH CAPITOL RIOT.. The FBI CONTINUES TO BRING THOSE FOLKS TO JUSTICE. I’LL, GIVE YOU THE LATEST IN TONIGHT’S SEDITIONIST ROUND UP ROUNDUP. ROUNDUP., gtgt, YOU’RE, UDDER ARREST, LAUGH gtgt, STEPHEN FIRST UP, PENNSYLVANIA NATIVE AND GUY, WHO CAN’T UNDERSTAND HOW THE RIVAL PAINTBALL TEAM SPOTTED HIS HEAD IN THE BUSHES ROBERT Morss. MORSS IS A FORMER ARMY RANGER, WHO WAS ARRESTED FOR STORMING THE CAPITOL AND FIGHTING WITH POLICE. HE’S TRYING TO GET OUT ON BAIL, BUT PROSECUTORS ARE RESISTING IN PART BECAUSE WHEN THEY RAIDED MORSS’ HOME POLICE SEIZED MILITARY GEAR FIREARMS AND A U.S. CAPITOL LEGO SET.. They ALSO FOUND EVIDENCE THAT HE PLANNED TO STORM THE MILLENNIUM FALCON HOGWARTS AND WINNIE THE POOH’S TREEHOUSE.

APPLAUSE gtgt, GOING FOR THAT HONEY POT, gtgt Jon YEAH. He WANTS THAT HONEY. gtgt Stephen LAW ENFORCEMENT ALSO RECOVERED A NOTEBOOK FROM MORSS’ CAR, WITH A SECTION TITLED STEP BY STEP TO CREATE A HOMETOWN MILITIA.. The NOTEBOOK INCLUDED REMINDERS TO BRING KITBODY AMOUR, BRING ASSAULT RIFLE AND FOUR MAGAZINES. THOSE MAGAZINES, ARCHITECTURAL DISTRESS, GOOD HOUSE TAKING HIGHLIGHTS ALL GOOFUS EDITION, 20 YEARS TO LIFE, LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE, TICK, TOCK., gtgt, Jon, TICK, TOCK, gtgt, Stephen TICK, TOCK.. Next, UP ON THE ‘S’ TO THE DOUBLE R INSURRECTIONIST AND WOMAN, DEMANDING quotGIVE MAMA A KISS ON THE TEETHquot PAULINE BAUER. BAUER IS ACCUSED OF VIOLENT ENTRY AND OBSTRUCTION OF CONGRESS AND ALLEGEDLY TOLD A POLICE OFFICER TO quotBRING NANCY PELOSI OUT HERE NOW WE WANT TO HANG That BLEEP BITCH.quot WATCH YOUR MANNERS. Pauline.. Remember YOU HANG MORE ELECTED OFFICIALS WITH HONEY THAN YOU DO WITH VINEGAR. BAUER HAS CHOSEN TO REPRESENT HERSELF IN COURT AND SHE’S GOT A UNIQUE DEFENSE. She CLAIMS SHE’S, A DIVINELY EMPOWERED ENTITY IMMUNE FROM LAWS., DIVINELY, EMPOWERED, SO SHE’S GOING TO GET AWAY SCOT FREE, JUST LIKE JESUS. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE, gtgt Jon. Oh, MY … gtgt Stephen THAT’S, A STROKER. VERY NICE., BUT IT DOES RAISE THE QUESTION IF YOU’RE CHOSEN BY GOD TO BE ABOVE THE LAWS OF GOVERNMENT, WHY DO YOU CARE WHO’S IN CHARGE OF IT? So WHAT DOES THIS EARTH BOUND DEITY DO HERE ON THE MORTAL PLANE, SHE’S A PIZZERIA OWNER. AND CONSIDERING HOW HARD SHE FELL FOR THE BIG LIE.

I ASSUME IT’S A DOMINOES. BAND PLAYS TARANTELLA NAPOLETANA AUDIENCE CLAPPING IN TIME. Gtgt Stephen THANK YOU, MAESTRO. STILL, IT’S GOOD NEWS FOR ANYBODY WHO ALWAYS BELIEVED IN A GOD WHO SELLS PIZZA. IT’S, TRUE IT’S, NOT JUST PIE IN THE SKY. BAND, PLAYS TARANTELLA NAPOLETANA AGAIN AUDIENCE CLAPS IN TIME ARE gtgt Stephen LAST AND POSSIBLY LAMEST Q ANON CONSPIRACY, PEDDLER Douglas JENSEN, SEEN HERE CHALLENGING CAPITOL POLICE TO A DANCE OFF. BRING IT BAND, PLAYS TARANTELLA NAPOLETANA A THIRD TIME AUDIENCE CLAPS IN TIME. Jensen IS FACING CHARGES, AUDIENCE CLAPS IN TIME. Jensen IS FACING CHARGES, INCLUDING ASSAULTING POLICE OFFICERS, CIVIL DISORDER AND ENTERING A RESTRICTED BUILDING WITH A WEAPON. LIKE A LOT OF THESE IDIOTS, HE POSTED VIDEO OF HIMSELF AT THE INSURRECTION.. Unlike A LOT OF THEM, HE DIDN’T KNOW EXACTLY WHERE HE WAS. HERE’S JENSEN FILMING HIMSELF AT THE CAPITOL BUILDING. gtgt. This IS ME TOUCHING THE BLEEP WHITE HOUSE.. This IS WHY WE’RE HERE. – I AM AT THE WHITE HOUSE JUST SO YOU KNOW. APPLAUSE, gtgt, STEPHEN JUST SO. You KNOW NO YOU’RE NOT. LAUGHTER LATER ON IN THE VIDEO HE GRABBED HIS ASS AND SAID THIS IS ME TOUCHING A HOLE IN THE GROUND JUST SO YOU KNOW. NOW THAT HE’S BEEN ARRESTED. His ATTORNEY SAYS: SURPRISE HE’S REJECTED Q ANON AND HE FEELS DECEIVED RECOGNIZING THAT HE BOUGHT INTO A PACK OF LIES. WELL YEAH., STARTING WITH WHOEVER TOLD HIM TO GET TO THE WHITE HOUSE START AT THE WHITE HOUSE. Then WALK AWAY FROM THE WHITE HOUSE TWO MILES DOWN.

Pennsylvania AVENUE ‘TIL, YOU ARRIVE AT THE WHITE HOUSE. APPLAUSE IS THIS TRUE? Is THIS TRUE I’M BEING TOLD WE HAVE AN UPDATE TO THIS STORY. THAT’S RIGHT THERE’S BREAKING MOOS.. Today, JENSEN WAS RELEASED FROM FEDERAL CUSTODY TO HOUSE ARREST, BECAUSE A JUDGE FOUND THAT HE COULDN’T HAVE PREPLANNED HIS ACTIONS BECAUSE HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHERE HE WAS. THAT’S A NEW ONE. LAUGHTER. He PLEAD NOT GUILTY BY REASON OF STUPIDITY.. My GUEST TONIGHT IS A MAN. Who’S BEEN MAKING HEADLINES EVERYWHERE, MULTI BILLIONAIRE AND DEHYDRATED GUY FIERI RICHARD BRANSON., SIR RICHARD IS HERE TO TELL US ALL ABOUT HIS RECENT VOYAGE TO THE EDGE OF SPACE, MAKING HIM THE FIRST BILLIONAIRE TO GO UP IN HIS OWN ROCKET, BEATING JEFF, BEZOS AND ELON MUSK.. But TO PROVE IT’S ALL IN GOOD FUN ON SUNDAY BEFORE TAKEOFF, BRANSON TWEETED, THIS PICTURE OF HIMSELF AND ELON. IT’S, LIKE THEY SAY MONEY, CAN’T, BUY FRIENDSHIP OR APPARENTLY SHOES., C’MON, ELON. YOU’RE, A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.. We HAVEN’T SEEN A PLUTOCRAT DRESS THIS CASUALLY SINCE JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER’S BANANA HAMMOCK.. Not EVERYONE WAS GROSSED OUT BY ELON’S TOOTSIES., BECAUSE AFTER BRANSON TWEETED THAT PICTURE IT WAS IMMEDIATELY UPLOADED TO WIKIFEET, WHICH IN CASE YOU DON’T KNOW, IS LIKE WIKIPEDIA, BUT FOR PEOPLE WITH A FETISH FOR FEET. CONGRATS ELON.. Richard MAY HAVE BEAT YOU TO SPACE, BUT IF IT’S ANY CONSOLATION CREEPS ON THE INTERNET WANT TO COP A FEEL OF YOUR HEEL. WIKI FEET HAS A WIDELY RESPECTED FOOT RATING SYSTEM, AND THAT LINE TOOK ME BY SURPRISE MUSK’S FEET.

Aren’T TOO POPULAR WITH A RATING OF JUST 2.83 OUT OF 5. AUDIENCE REACTS THAT’S JUST FOR THE PICTURE. MIGHT’VE BEEN EVEN LOWER IF THEY SAW THE WAY HE MOVES. Them.. To ADD INSULT TO INJURY. Musk’S FEET ARE APPARENTLY THE WORST OF HIS FELLOW SPACE BILLIONAIRES BECAUSE RICHARD BRANSON WIKIFEET PAGE HAS A RATING OF 3.3 AND JEFF BEZO’S FEET GOT A 3.15.. I WOULD’VE THOUGHT HE’D BE HIGHER, CONSIDERING THAT BEZOS IS JUST ONE GIANT, TOE. LAUGHTER. These LOW RATINGS ARE A VICTORY FOR ALL OF US. Workin’ STIFFS.. These GUYS MAY HAVE ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD, BUT THEY DON’T HAVE WHAT REALLY COUNTS. Toes THAT GIVE STRANGERS A BONER. LAUGHTER. I JUST HOPE ANYONE OUT THERE IS ENJOYING THIS STORY AS MUCH AS I AM.. It GETS BETTER. LAUGHTER. Now THEY GET A TASTE OF WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE AVERAGE. TO WALK A MILE IN OUR SHOES AND THEN LET A GUY SNIFF ‘EM FOR FIFTY BUCKS., AND THE MESSAGE OF HOPE HERE IS THAT ANYONE’S FEET CAN ROCKET TO THE TOP OF THE CHARTS., SPECIFICALLY MINE., Because I LOOKED IT UP AND WIKIFEET RATED THESE PUPPIES 4.93 OUT OF FIVE. CHEERS AND APPLAUSE COME ON BOOM CHECK, IT. PIANO, RIFF, gtgt, Jon, YEAH, gtgt Stephen. I BEAT THE BILLIONAIRES THESE LITTLE PIGGIES GON NA GO WEE WEE WEE ALL THE WAY HOME. I DON’T MEAN TO BRAG, BUT I HAVE A LOT OF PICTURES ON WIKI FEET.. Look AT ALL THOSE.. Of COURSE THOSE PICTURES COME FROM MY ALLFOOT VERSION OF THIS PROGRAM.

Quotthe LATE TOE WITH STEPHEN SOLEBERT.quot LAUGHTER. Now, IF YOU WANT TO GO ON WIKIFEET AND UPVOTE, MY DOGS GO AHEAD, BUT KEEP IT CLEAN., BECAUSE THE WIKIFEET GUIDELINES SAY SEXUALLY EXPLICIT COMMENTS ARE PROHIBITED.. Describing OF FANTASIES IS PROHIBITED.. The COMMENT SECTION IS INTENDED FOR INTELLECTUAL DISCUSSIONS OVER SYMMETRY AND AESTHETICS. THAT’S RIGHT. IT’S, A SALON OF THE MIND., IF ONLY OTHER WEBSITES WOULD TAKE NOTE.. I AM HERE FOR AN INTELLECTUAL DISCUSSION OF THE ECONOMIC RAMIFICATIONS OF NOT HAVING ENOUGH MONEY WHEN THE PIZZA DELIVERY BOY ARRIVES. WITH EXTRA SAUSAGE, SHALL WE SAY. WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. My GUESTS ARE, SIR RICHARD BRANSON AND CONGRESSWOMAN ELEANOR HOLMES NORTON.

What do you think?

Written by freotech

Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Loading…

0

Jeff Bezos, Amazon.com is going to space (flying HIGHER than Branson) 🚀

Jeff Bezos, Blue Origin, Space, Reuters, Richard Branson NO! FAA Commercial License & SPCE Updates!