I if you guys, could have seen this room a couple days ago. You guys would have been like sis. What is wrong with you. Is your depression kicking in what is going on and i spent my whole night. I mean i was up till 2 a.m. Straight up cleaning this now its spotless clean decorated for halloween were still in august. I dont give two favorite. I just feel like i thrive, i thrive in the ball. I just do its like my favorite time of the year im doing this with no mirror right now. I dont know why. If im gon na be completely honest with you, i have severe anxiety today. You cant tell but theres like maybe its, not even anxiety, but i have this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I cant shake. I dont know why its just like its like nerves, nerves, like butterflies or maybe its, not butterflies, maybe its. Like my hair. I need my mirror, because is this even going on smooth, oh yeah wow, who knew i cant explain it? Oh my god its like butterflies, but i dont know if its like a good butterfly or, like my higher self, telling me some shits about to go down. Also, i dont know if anyone else can relate, but once you start your spiritual journey and have a spiritual awakening, you just like dont, do well in social settings anymore. So as much as i love getting cute and dressed up, i truly like cant deal with being out in public.
I always get such bad like were leaving at 12 30, because my friend has to drop her kids off at her moms house, which is on the way to boston and im, like its 12 30 too early to have a drink, because sometimes it helps with my Social anxiety, sometimes it doesnt, but i think ill just wait and bug it out. You know im meeting my dad and his girl, because oh well, that hasnt met his girlfriend, yet so its gon na be her first time meeting her and well just like super nervous about it, because she thinks its so weird, because shes known me for half my Life, which means shes been around for half of my parents, marriage, so she just thinks its so weird and such a like a shock. My friends know im like the worst person to get ready, so i picked out my outfit last night instead of doing that today, because i would, i would have a meltdown, be like im not going anymore, so i picked it out last night and im going to Mimic i have this tic tac video, where i got ready for my birthday and everyone really liked my makeup and they were like. Can we have a tutorial so im gon na, do the same exact makeup, because it kind of goes with my fit so im using mac strike a pose and mac. I like to watch dazzle im wearing this corset that has mona lisa on it and the this will bring out like you know, whatever im not going to do a breakdown, because i find that im, not a makeup guru.
I got this new lawyer, laura geller, so im going to go in with like that top like creamy color and im going to do like my brow. It doesnt like show up on my complexion, though its like very dainty. My eyebrows are a goddamn mess. How am i supposed to make this work? Can you believe i got my lashes done literally a week ago and theres no lashes left, usually my ladies, like extremely fire, and they last three weeks. This is not even a week i literally have to put on falsies, because this is a joke. My first day school thursday and i already passed in a paper, i already passed it a paper. I have a test two tests tomorrow on the computer and i have to even after brunch. I have to read two chapters and do notes and thats going to be what the test is on. So i, even if i want to get to kilauea, said cant because a got responsibilities about my school. If anybody needs a sugar baby um. Where do i sign up? Where do i sign up and um? I mean sugar baby that will just talk to you on the phone um. That is it. I am celibate and i plan on staying celibate. So where can i sign up because i applied for a fafsa and it got approved and then after i signed up and started the classes i got hit with a sick mind you, i supposed to take three classes: english 101 intro to general psychology and math.
So i cant get over. I have no lashes. I just cant. I was supposed to take those three classes. So every time i was signing up for the math, like some error message, popped up and its like impossible, like damn near impossible to get someone on the phone at dsu, so i made a virtual appointment. They didnt really help me. Then i filled out this complaint. Like im having issues trouble with signing up for math, so they just wrote me back yesterday morning saying i need to take two math classes: two math classes: zero, nine, nine, nine and one one one and im like oh sis. This is my first time going back to school after a decade i dont know if i want to take on four classes and one of them and two of them being math. So i was like okay. What ill do is this semester ill? Do english and intro to psych next semester ill? Do the two math classes summer ill do summer, school and ill do bio and lab the bio and lab and one chemistry in lab, because i like that anyway, im super in touch and then im done with my pre racks. The pre racks are pretty easy. That was my plan, so my fastball got approved. I went on my account yesterday and i got hit with this 6600 bill for english and intro to psych. First and foremost, why are two classes that expensive anyway, so i got hit with this 6600 bill and im like hold the on? I thought i got approved for fastball like what is happening and i called fafsa and theyre like theres, a loan you have from 2009.
In default and im like okay all right, let me try to figure this out, so i call this loan and im like hey mind you i went to school. I went to umass lowell over a decade ago, clearly 2009., so i was like hey like i didnt. Even know that this was a bill, i would have never let it go into default and its for four thousand dollars and hes like you could pay thirty eight hundred dollars and we can get rid of it and write your school letter. So they allow the fafsa, or i suggest you start school in a few months when you do a few payments and youre in good standing and im. Like i already started school, sir, i literally just wrote a paper. I am not withdrawing from my classes and i would appreciate if you can like work something out with me like i dont, even care, if i have to put like a thousand dollars down, but im, not paying four thousand dollars up front like i have so many Bills and im trying to move like its just no so hes like nope sorry, i cant help you like the biggest dick, so im like. Why is this happening like theres? Always some, you know so. I tried calling the school couldnt get anyone on the line and i think you have to like next week to like, withdraw and figure out your money, your financials with the school.
So, on monday i have to call and figure out if theyll give me like a grant or something, because sixty six hundred dollars for two classes is ridiculous and im about to shake this ass. For someone whos changed the like. Can someone can someone just wire me? My tuition like for the next three and a half years, i need a sugar daddy. I need a sugar daddy like hey, we dont even have to have a relationship. Can you just pay for my education? Thank you. Only fans im about to log back in im about to and im like joking around but, like i really dont, know what to do guys, because i refuse to withdraw myself and not go to school like im motivated. The time is now i if i, if i have to withdraw, because i cant pay this 66 ill, never go back to school like ill, just be like its not meant for me, i cant do it thats whats, going on with that. I really its funny, because i had my first day of classes and everyones, so young damn near teens, like still teens fresh out of high school and im like wow like i got ta, be the oldest shorty up in these classes. It just makes me think about how, at that age, i really had no idea what the i was gon na do with my life and how life has just been this, never ending journey.
You know and again, like i said in my last video it doesnt matter when you figure out what you want to do, make a plan create a schedule and dont. Let anyone knock you off your course and im like i cant. Let this financial knock me off. My course like i know somehow some way, im gon na be blessed, and this will work out for me, but i for sure cannot pay the four thousand dollars that im in default for and sixty six hundred dollars for two class like what so, basically they wont Give me financial aid or any type of fafsa until that four grand is paid up in full, and even if i paid the four grand today, okay, even if i paid it, it would still be in default for like a month and then after that, i would Be able to get my fafsa and im like thats, literally the whole first semester, like i cant not be in school this semester i cant ive already put off school, and so many things has happened that i havent gone. That im like im. Not i have to. I dont care: what like change? Does anyone have some nice change? Does anyone want me to shake this ass im laughing but, like guys im stressed, i am stressed Music im so stressed. Like shorty, i cant catch a break. To be honest, but you know you cant. I cant complain life could be way.
Do you hear that when i wonder what the temp is going to be? Maybe i need to change my alpha, but if i change my outfit, my girls are going to get pissed at me because i take flicking forever to try to figure out what im comfortable in and what to wear so i dont know so anyways, maybe thats what My the feeling in my gut is like just im overwhelmed. You know i am overwhelmed and i dont know what to do and shawty does not know what to do. This is gon na, be the most transformative year of my life, and i just need to make sure every decision i make is the right one and i need to execute everything without like forcing anything. You know what i mean lose charge charge. This is random, but you guys ever feel like the inside of your chest is like itchy, but like its not the outside. It feels like the inside. I know that sounds like really ridiculous, but sometimes i absolutely need to use falsies, because this is a joke. Its a joke, its a joke im going to do my eyebrows off camera because i was supposed to get my eyebrows done this week. Shes about to leave for maternity – and i dont know what im gon na do, because maternity leave could be like five months a year. It all depends on someone and i look at them right now, just look at them.
Okay, this is i added falsies, because my extensions were a joke. I just have to put a lip on and i have to im actually going to film ive been trying new lip like this uh pencil is makeup forever number 12. and im gon na film, a baby daddy update right after this an outfit im wearing to lunch, Because i have one since i went viral and tick tock was semi viral talking about his ass. I have now had. I now have a baby daddy who the is texting me. I now have a baby, daddy update and im gon na fill you all in. I need to decide if i want to put extensions on or just leave my hair like this and just fix the frizz. I think i might add extensions, but then im like isnt necessary, probably not adding this like benefit benefit lip stain, cheek stain, whatever the im gon na sneeze. Why did i have to sneeze after i did mine and then im going to take my fenty glow and i wear per use and im going to dab it around where i just stain my lips, kissable really kissable and there you have it folks. There is the makeup for the day. I need to figure out what im doing with this hair, because im gon na come back when im ready when im like fully fully ready so ill, see you in a little bit im wearing jeans in this pop.
I ended up adding hair extensions, and the makeup looks really good with this outfit. I just overall feel beautiful. I thought it was going to be a little warmer than it is today is only 68, so i think im gon na put a jacket on, but im also sweating right now, because ive been dancing around doing my makeup, getting ready doing my hair so im, like Maybe itll be nice to be a little chilly. I dont know, but this is my final look and you know we got to do a sexy outro, because what get ready with me, what i ever do without one so cue, the sexy outro and before i go, make sure you are kind to each other, but Especially yourself because aint nobody got you like, you got you and im gon na go shake my ass for some dollar bills. No seriously, though um anyone needs a sugar baby because i got school to pay for i need help me im.